Keynotes from the Lord

A book that has become a mainstay in my spiritual life is He and I by Gabrielle Bossis.  It is a collection of Christ’s words to Gabrielle in private revelations.  One thing that appears at the beginning of each year is a keynote: a phrase that provides a theme for the year to come.  Would Jesus give me a message in prayer if I were to ask for a keynote for the year?  I know He can speak to each heart, though in different ways – for me, in thoughts and insights that seem to come spontaneously, as if prompted by the Holy Spirit.  And, at the onset of many years now, the Lord seems to have had a message of encouragement for me, as evidenced in journal excerpts. 

I first asked for a keynote in 2016.  Not only did He give me words to reflect on, but He also gave me an understanding that went beyond my first impression:

For New Year’s Eve, I wondered what my keynote for the year would be, similar to in He and I.  His response: “For you.” 

Yes, all is always for You, Lord.

But then He let me know it meant “For you” from Him.  It went both ways.  On New Year’s Day, it seemed like a call of birds – I would say “For You” about some action, and He would answer, “For you.”  Indeed, anything I have to offer is first a gift from Him.  I find myself offering more things “for You,” and recognizing His gift, His “for you,” in turn, and thanking Him for it.  I pray that continues during the year ahead.  

The following year, on January 1^st, I felt apprehensive as I waited to see if the Lord would provide a keynote for the year.  It seemed presumptuous to ask, so I resolved to accept His will, even if it meant no message from Him.  I entered into Mass feeling rather discouraged, empty, and unworthy.

After Communion, I asked again, if it was Your will, to give me the Words I wanted.  You said, “Trust.”  Is that the keynote?  “Trust in Me.” 

My first impression of what that meant was to trust You to accept me as I was, with whatever feelings I was dealing with.  I believe that I should use Your words in whatever difficulties/circumstances I find myself in.  Let it echo through my life this year as last year’s “For You” became a song. 

I realized that “Trust in Me” meant not only to count on God’s providence, but, even more importantly for me, to trust in the relationship. 

My journal entry on January 1, 2018 provides a window on how the previous year had unfolded. 

I had been a bit apprehensive concerning the keynote as last year’s – “Trust in Me” – was followed up with some real challenges.  I didn’t want something I would interpret negatively and expect hard times to come. How like Jesus to surprise me with such a positive one.

To explain further:

I was less sure this year of the keynote, but I believe He gave me one again: “Celebrate.”  It feels right in terms of the healing and peace I’m currently feeling, but I think it will take on more meaning throughout the year.  I think it’s an invitation to experience joy – something I don’t do well.  It sounds like a good phase of the journey. 

Ironically, soon after the beginning of the year a display was put up at my school with a motivational word beside each picture of staff members.  The word beside my picture was “Celebrate.”

January 1, 2019  Happy New Year.  He has given me His gift: the keynote for this year.

“Happy New Year” hardly fits the apprehensive view I take of the future.  So, realizing my negative viewpoint is not a good thing, I started to search for the good things, the growth, of the past year so I could be more positive and grateful. … The next step was to look more positively at the coming year, and I started to think, “Maybe I will grow in this or that way,” “Maybe some wounds will heal in our family,” “Maybe I will come to understand His love better.”

At this point the single word “HOPE” came strongly to my mind.  “That’s it, isn’t it?  That’s the keynote.”  I smiled to think how much the Holy Spirit would be involved with that, and acknowledged that to Him, realizing how it built on the relationship I started to develop last year.

Then I looked outside and there was this beautiful sunrise….

I had written “Pentecost Prayer” the previous year, and “Prayer of Hope” would come from this year’s keynote [see section entitled “Prayers”]  The message was reinforced a few weeks later when I received a rosary along with a request for a donation from a religious organization.  On the reverse side of the medallion at the beginning of the decade beads were the words, “I Hope in Thee.”

By January 1^st of 2020, I had decided to retire from the field of special education in June.  I loved my job, but felt I no longer had the stamina to work at it full time.  However, I viewed retirement with some trepidation.  New Year’s morning greeted me with a magnificent sunrise, which reminded me of Hope, the previous year’s keynote.

This morning I was in the kitchen at the right time to see the sunrise.  I would watch it for a while, admiringly and prayerfully, work a bit at getting breakfast, then get drawn back to watching the beautiful scene. … As with the sunrise, the beauty of God’s gifts is always changing.  The beauty is continually new and different.  This will be a year of transition, but rather than fear that, I need to keep in mind that His gifts are ever-changing, but always beautiful and new.

I believe the keynote for this year is: Beauty. 

Looking for the beauty in every circumstance was helpful during the challenging transition to retirement, which was compounded by the arrival of the COVID pandemic.  But even amidst the struggles, there were some amazing blessings.

In 2021, on the First of January, I watched a live-streamed Mass for the feast of the Solemnity of Mary.  In the homily, the priest referred to the Scripture passage that states, “And Mary kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart.”  We were encouraged to ponder things in our hearts, as well.  The second stanza of my prayer to Our Lady of Guadalupe came to my mind before the Communion portion of the Mass. 

So I paraphrased from memory the second part of that prayer: “Holy, Ever-Virgin Mary, I ask you to arrange the flowers of my few merits in the tilma of my heart, and imprint your likeness there, so that the Lord might find my soul a fitting dwelling place each time He enters there.”  (I used “image” rather than “likeness.”)  My next thought was “In her image.”  I asked if that was the keynote, and it seemed He affirmed that it is: “In her image.” 

The prayer to Our Lady of Guadalupe has become a call to become more and more like the image I ask her to place in me.  This will be a conscious striving this year, with God’s – and Mary’s and Joseph’s (during the year of St. Joseph) – help; to conform to Mary’s image – her virtues, her demeanor, her attitude, her Fiat. 

That resolution has carried through succeeding years, and two new prayers have been added to my collection on that theme [see “Prayers” section]. 

The following year, communication of the keynote began early. 

December 25, 2021  Happy Birthday Jesus!

I am nearing the end of reading Isaiah (for Advent/Christmas). … For the new year, I will start reading and praying with the Gospels, as Jesus encouraged Gabrielle Bossis to do.  Anticipating this, I thought about it as a way of encountering Christ daily.  I wondered if this might be the keynote for the New Year, given early: Encountering Jesus. 

January 1, 2022  Happy & Holy New Year!

Although I remain open to further communication, it seems the keynote for the new year is indeed “Encountering Jesus.”  I had associated this with the delightful thought of encountering Him as I read Scripture day-to-day.  Jesus seems to be adding the idea of finding Him constantly in daily life, in new ways.  A rather mundane comparison came to mind: “Where’s Waldo?”  Christ is in every scene – every moment – of my life.  I merely need to look for Him, and I will find Him.  It becomes a joyful spiritual game of hide-and-seek with Him!

The keynote for 2023 was again given slightly early.  I was praying the rosary before Christmas Mass, using innovative mysteries which I chose for the occasion from the story of Christ’s birth. 

At some point in prayer I “heard” the words, “Come closer,” as if to the manger.  How like a keynote – for Christmas or the New Year?

The impression was reinforced on New Year’s Day:

I read the gospel before Mass – the scene of the shepherds coming to see the Baby Jesus from the Gospel of Luke.  The image was similar to the one I envisioned on Christmas when the words came, “Come closer.” 

My response to the keynote would be, “I would like that.”  What an invitation!  How could I resist?  But the Lord must lead me and show me how.  Or perhaps Mary  will….

(To be continued, as God’s gifts continue…)

Learning to Listen to the Lord: a journal

January 1 This year my New Year’s resolution is to begin a journey. People talk about prayer as being a time not only to talk to God, but a time to listen. I want to learn to listen. To begin, I intend to start with a small guide book that has been recommended by a friend as a good and easy read: Practicing the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence.

January 18 I decided to try out “practicing the presence of God” outside of church and structured prayer times by inviting Jesus along when I take the dog out for a daily walk. That should give me plenty of time for a chat – we stop at every tree on the route!

February 7 I don’t know about this literal “walking with the Lord.” It feels more like I’m talking to an imaginary friend rather than praying. Yet, I look forward to those walks with the dog now, and I’m not so impatient about getting back home. I find myself talking to Jesus about random things – my family, the housework, my job, my relationships, and the most insignificant of tasks I am involved in.

March 10 I’ve noticed that at times I come across just the right passage in spiritual reading for what is occupying my mind at the time, and I wonder if I was somehow led to it…. I have been puzzling over the question of how one recognizes the voice of God in one’s life. Sister Mary of the Holy Trinity presented some applicable words of Our Lord: “When phantoms pass before your mind, it matters little to you whether they come from your imagination, or from a good or bad spirit; use them by praying for what is presented to you.” (The Spiritual Legacy of Sister Mary of the Holy Trinity, #181) That would seem to indicate that at times you may not know whether the “voice” or inspiration is from God or your own imaginings, but it may not matter.

March 21 So those phantoms of imagination can increase our awareness of God. Yesterday I stopped by church before work, and God brought to mind the image of a young Jesus happily running to me. I wanted to gather Him in my arms delightedly, as I would my little son. I asked Him to accompany me to my job at school, which seemed a fitting place to bring the Child Jesus. Throughout the day, on occasion, I would think of Him or talk to Him about what I was doing.

April 9 I have found some writings are uplifting and consoling for me – as if the Lord had directed the words to my heart. Others, however holy and spiritual and inspirational in content, do not nourish me this way. I must draw frequently from the readings that have fed me and led me deeper in my spirituality, putting aside others when necessary.

April 20 Change seems so slow; I wonder if I have made any progress on my resolution at all. However, the words of Our Lord in In Sinu Jesu When Heart Speaks to Heart are reassuring: “In my presence I communicate to your soul all that I want you to have, and all that I want you to know. You may not be aware of this as happening, but later you will experience the fruit and the efficacy of this time spent in My presence.” (p. 57)

May 1 My reading has brought many beautiful images before my eyes. The most striking, perhaps, was one that addresses the discouragement a person can encounter on a spiritual journey. It refers to progress in the spiritual life, and Jesus was kind enough to help me find it now, so I will write it here: “Do not be anxious, Josefa,” He said tenderly. “If you throw a grain of sand into a vase which is full to the very top, a little of the water will trickle out. In the same way, in so far as I enter into your soul, you will become less and less occupied with yourself. But this will come about gradually and take time.” (The Way of Divine Love by Sister Josefa Menendez, p. 93)

May 23 This morning I woke with a heavy feeling over a problem I am encountering. I stopped by church on my way to work, and again found imagery a part of listening to the Lord. I felt called to give my struggles to the Lord, and my first thought was, “And give you another heavy burden?” But the Lord led me to realize it was not a heavy burden to Him. Rather, it was like a deep, rich, red flower given to Him for His pleasure. It seemed the intensity of the pain was the intensity of the gift. I believe it would be the same if I were offering Him joy, or my efforts….

June 16 The Lord seems to use circumstances in my life to present little lessons. This morning I was worrying about finances, jobs, caring for the family…. I was upset as I left for work and realized I didn’t have the car keys, since the car was just back from the shop. I went back inside, and they weren’t hanging where they should be on the key rack. I got pretty angry with God about it all, and commented to Him that He could easily have taken care of the small matter of the keys. Then I looked at the collection of extra keys hanging to the side, found the spare set of car keys, and went on my way. Somewhere along the way I realized the point I think the Lord was making – He was providing the other set of keys. And so with my worries – He would provide the other key, the one I’m not really looking for or expecting – or even comfortable with, perhaps. I just need to watch for the other key.

July 6 Another passage in In Sinu Jesu When Heart Speaks to Heart underlines the various ways God speaks to us in our lives: “Speak to me freely of all the things that preoccupy you and weigh down upon your heart. Ask Me whatever questions you feel are necessary and seek My gentle guidance in all things. If I delay in answering you, it is so that you will trust Me to reveal the answer you seek in the persons who surround you or communicate with you, in events, in circumstances, and in those barely perceptible signs of My providence by which I communicate My love to little souls.” (p. 179)

August 5 Last night I heard a talk in which the speaker shared an experience where she clearly heard God tell her, “I delight in you.” Though this was related as an encouragement with much enthusiasm, I admit to some envy, and wondered “What would He say to me?” So, I brought it to prayer, asking, “You told her you cherish her – I mean, You delight in her – what would You say to me?” I repeated this a number of times, each time making the same mistake. Being a little slow on the uptake, it wasn’t until today that I realized – That’s what He’d say to me: “I cherish you”! That sentiment seems more meaningful to me, and I am convinced that was what the Lord wanted to communicate to me.

August 22 Although I don’t hear any actual voice, there are times that a thought comes to me unbidden, even in an uncharacteristic or unexpected form that is not typical of my own thinking. For example, yesterday, after a number of things had already gone wrong, I was putting something on a shelf in the basement and knocked over a vase, which fell and shattered on the floor. It was the last straw! I reacted strongly, and, in frustration, exclaimed to the Lord, “Where are You?” The answer that seemed to come to me was: “Sweeping up the pieces of glass with you.” This was an amazingly calming and encouraging thought.

October 4 Times have been a bit tight recently, since my husband was laid off. I was at church praying one day – complaining about our situation might be more accurate. Realizing that I am rather uncomfortable with excess – it carries with it such a responsibility of stewardship – I commented to the Lord that I generally rather like living on the edge. I immediately had an image of myself clinging to the edge of a cliff on a high mountain, and added, “But I’d like to be on the other side of the edge, on firm ground.” What came next was an unanticipated response: “But then you wouldn’t realize how much you need Me. I will never let you fall.”

October 25 Last evening, for a variety of reasons, I was crying as I laid in bed, more upset than usual. It was hard to offer the struggles to God…. In the morning, I asked Jesus where He was last night. His answer: “I was holding you.”

November 19 Am I deceiving myself? Is it really possible these messages come from the Lord? In Sinu Jesu again has an applicable quotation: “One of the signs that these words originate in My tender love for you, and not in your own thoughts, is that, when you re-read them and meditate them, you will experience the peace and joy of My presence.” (p. 135) Two tests, then, would be maintaining a holy sense of peace, and the fruitfulness of the time in prayer.

December 24 So if God speaks personally to me, may I be more direct in what I ask of Him? It seems so, as I search each year for a greater understanding of the mystery of the Incarnation. Tonight, on Christmas Eve, I asked the Lord for a new insight, and as I read through some excerpts in He and I by Gabrielle Bossis, I encountered this: “Do you know what the world was like before I came? There was God and there were men. Now God has become a man among men – one of you. What love! What potential oneness between you and Him!” (p. 74, Dec.24, 1939) The intimacy I have now with Jesus is because He came. It is as if that night something started for me, too: my relationship with Him. Christmas not only celebrates that, but somehow makes me present at that beginning.

December 31 The year is coming to a close, and I asked very specifically for one more message from the Lord. Each year in He and I Gabrielle asks for a keynote – a theme for the year. So I wondered what my keynote might be. His response: “For you.” But of course, all is always for You, Lord. But then He let me know it meant “For you” from Him. It went both ways. It is like the call of cardinals: if I offer an action “For You,” He would answer “For you.” Indeed, anything I have to offer is first a gift from Him. Likewise, if He offers me a gift – “For you,” I immediately want to return the sentiment by offering my recognition and appreciation of that gift: “For You.” I find myself offering more things “for You,” and recognizing His gift, His “for you,” in turn, and thanking Him for it.

I pray that continues during the year ahead, as a new New Year’s resolution.

(This is a compilation from a number of years.  The dates are inaccurate; the experiences are real.)